islenska 06.07.06 miss(understood)
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Thursday, October 22, 2009


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Deep within, I was struggling with my own emotions. To let my emotions take over, I Lose myself; doing things which are ought not to do.
It's not easy to simply think positive at all times. Situations, people, place or etc may affect my decisions n own beliefs.
Seeking Him for help. So encouraging to have Him with me.
Going to battle later.

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Squeaks` @* 7:12 AM
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Monday, October 12, 2009

Sunday, 11th Oct 2009
It's good to be out in sun.
Such a beautiful Sunday.
No one rvsp but attendance still considered good? ha increment this year! from 3 to 5!
Candid pics were taken and I really hope they turn out nice.
Enjoy every moment in your life. Dont be hard on yourself.

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Squeaks` @* 12:20 AM
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Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Reaching Your Destination


Steering away from the true meaning.
replacing it with new objective.. are we clouded by the mist?

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Squeaks` @* 5:11 PM
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Sunday, July 12, 2009


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Feeling the wings
Strangely, as I was watching Harry Potter yesterday night(Saturday), images of me lying on the hospital bed flashed by. Isn't it weird?
Ha. It so happened that Hogwarts students had been petrified and were sent to the hospital. That was why I started to imagine myself lying in the hospital ward.
The thought of it indeed scared me to a great extent. I paused and began to think about life.
Time seems to be moving faster than I wish lately. Sooner or later, this scene would happen and by then it will be too late for me to cherish my life more.
What's the point when everything will come to an end?
Relieving the burden and feeling lighter (not physically though) as if wings have been attached to my back.

Wont want to look like retard.

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Squeaks` @* 10:36 PM
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Wednesday, June 10, 2009


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2 consecutive days of working ot. Not that I worked till the wee hours, but still, I am tired. My eyes are puffy but thanks to someone, the eye mask he bought back indeed helped to smoothen the tender skin around my eye area to a certain extent. I would need to use it daily to see the effect.
Chanced upon a blog this morning which "inspired" me to write an entry. I really do not have the time to write an essay though. Truely, everyone has their own perceptions and thinking, it's never easy to please everyone. I have this weakness of putting too much focus on people's own apprehension; making my life a misery. In turn, it gets me imposing my frustration on the ones within my vicinity. Would I be able to cast these negativities away? It just has start somewhere, maybe now it's a good time.

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Squeaks` @* 8:17 AM
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Saturday, November 15, 2008


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I cried for 30 minutes or more.

I am such a weakling and I total detest myself for being one. Reflecting upon it, I know I need to be stronger mentally.
Different people have their own strengths and weaknesses. Without talent, one can compensate by putting more effort and focus on their shortcomings.

Confidence is coming home. Fear is redundant, so please take the back seat.

Another try and I will succeed. Never be afraid to fall while young but to must sure never to repeat. Owells, I repeated my mistake. Ha


Throughout the whole journey, we are practically arguing on any issues that were being brought up. It gets a bit frustrating at times but that's how we operate? Ha. I was too whiny while he was just being stubborn. Everything will be fine after BBP. This is Period we dislike most.

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Squeaks` @* 9:28 AM
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Tuesday, October 21, 2008


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Food for our mind

Proverbs 26:24-26 (AMP):
24 He who hates pretends with his lips, but stores up deceit within himself.25 When he speaks kindly, do not trust him, for seven abominations are in his heart. 26 Though his hatred covers itself with guile, his wickedness shall be shown openly before the assembly.

This clearly tells us that a person, whose lips are filled with flowery words yet inwardly deceitful, will eventually be exposed. They are hypocrites who do not mean what they say. More often than not, they plot against people to achieve their goals and for their own advantages.

Verse 25 warns not to trust these deceitful people as they have seven abominations in their hearts.

1) Proud look
2) Lying tongue
3) Murder
4) A heart that devises wicked thoughts
5) Executing the wicked thoughts through actions
6) A false witness
a. Gossip is the 2nd cousin to this sin, as stories are retold to others not on the basis of truth
7) Sowing discord among believers
a. We are to love one another

While God hates the first 6 sins, he wants us to practice loving for one another. When these come in place, they become abominations in the eyes of God.

Let us be set free from sins. Sins and wickedness will eventually be brought to light as stated in Verse 26.
Numbers 32:23b: "..... ye have sinned against the LORD: and be sure your sin will find you out."
The journey is harsh and I am weak. I do not wish to see myself sinking deeper and deeper into the ocean.

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Squeaks` @* 11:09 PM
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Saturday, October 11, 2008


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Wanna scream...

Suffocating.

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Squeaks` @* 12:23 PM
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Friday, February 22, 2008


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Life is boring, mundane
Ever wonder how to make it different?

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Squeaks` @* 1:24 AM
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Sunday, February 17, 2008


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I m just a little gal
I might have went thru much, some horrifying memories, seldom was I in this situation.

Traumatised.
Things were not under my control; lest the ability to manipulate.
Things aint the way u see.
Things aint the way u perceived.

Missunderstood; Only friends would understand.
Crushed..... How despairing!
Escape, keep on running, hiding

M I being forsaken?
I do not BLAME the 'internship company', 'part-time jobs'... Nor I blame my 'colleagues' and 'passerbys'
U do not know me, even if u tot so
Well, just mind own business
But, it's hard when you'e got too much time


If anyone wants to know, I can only say that decision not made.
I am close to him. very close
But I am still unclear what I want. Distrustful ever since.......
Not wanting anyone to get hurt in the process
So I guess.. Leave me in insolation..

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Squeaks` @* 9:49 AM
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Friday, February 15, 2008


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Natural is beauty.
I feel the change in me.
No longer shielded by thick layers of make up.

Masquerade at times, only when necessary

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Squeaks` @* 3:27 PM
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Wednesday, February 13, 2008


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Liquidated training, ever since that day

Crunchy night

Cheesey morning

What can I ask for? Be contented




Leaving the bag behind
What a relief

What do I exactly want in life?
Good grades? money? reputation? recognition? promising future?
Even if I've got all the things I ever wish for, happiness will come?
I would most probably want more
Be contented
Stop looking over the fence and be envious
When in fact, urs has been coveted by many

Be thankful
God, open my eyes to see
The beautiful blessings

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Squeaks` @* 10:26 AM
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Friday, January 25, 2008


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Dont judge others if u dont want others to judge you.

Seeing is believing
I beg to differ
What u see might not be what u believe
What u believe might not be what you see

Choose your word carefully
Have it validated

Crystal Ball world
I need a world of my own
Freedom comes when I call upon it?
Doing things according to His words shd be The Way.

Morose once again
Not becos of u, definitely
But becos I've failed
Failed Not as a fren of urs
But failed as a child of God

Everything is linked
So dont think it's just another random rambling

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Squeaks` @* 12:12 PM
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Tuesday, January 15, 2008


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Red bull gives me wings.. and energy ..
I m loving it..
Yet, the side effects are just scary...

I love my life.. the way it is now..
Positive living..

I ve someone to tok to, supper with..:)

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Squeaks` @* 11:07 AM
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Wednesday, January 9, 2008


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Crystal ball

Jaded

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Squeaks` @* 3:17 PM
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Wednesday, January 2, 2008

I've got sooo much thingy to blog but realli cant find time to do so.
Life has been great for me.. Deceiving myself?!
Well, at least I am trying to stay positive.
Will write more soon when time permits and when there's no training? nt possible.
Meanwhile, pictures shall speak on my behalf

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Squeaks` @* 3:21 PM
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Friday, December 28, 2007


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Big-mouth ppl are disgusting

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Squeaks` @* 2:19 AM
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Monday, December 17, 2007


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You dont know how much pain you have caused
You dont know how much agony you have put me thru.
It was so silly of me.
I just wanna sleep.. Fall into a deep deep sleep.

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Squeaks` @* 8:42 PM
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Sunday, December 16, 2007


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Some things cant be forgotten.

It's not easy and I am still trying..

Still, it's like a dream to me....... Yet, this dream reflects reality..

Why am I still so persistent?


*Ruth is fading away, yet he's happy*

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Squeaks` @* 10:35 PM
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Wednesday, December 12, 2007


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There's always a twist.

Life is unpredictable.

Most importantly, never regret what you've done. Instead, reflect on it. Make no such mistake again.

Ruth wants to train. No time really no time. But Maybellina is not going to let her do so. She wants Ruth to rest before it worsens.
Overwhelming presence of Maybellina, she has taken control. Ruth has no choice but to stop training after Thursday's performance.
Fear not, I still have faith. 3 days of rest wont make Ruth at the losing end.

*crossing my fingers*
Please dont bang into me tml during the IH basketball match!!

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Squeaks` @* 12:18 AM
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About

This is not a teenage girl's blog
My age has become a secret
so is everything else

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Mickey & Minnie
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LV!!!
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When you are bored...




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