islenska 06.07.06 miss(understood)
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Monday, January 11, 2010


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Fly me to where I want to be.

The love that was embedded a long long time ago.. The source of motivation that kept me going even when I was weak. My eyes were fixed; determination was strong. I was so in love with it that everything about it is beautiful. I did not mind the long wait, only to hope that it will come to past. The process was tough yet sweet.

Of course, it has become a thing of the past. Now, my vision is blur, the will is weak and the focus is gone. I am sure that I won't have the drive for it anymore. My sis was ahead of me. Been there done that.

It will remain as a dream for me.

Sometimes, pictures just bring back memories that we regret.

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Squeaks` @* 10:53 AM
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Wednesday, January 6, 2010


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State of mind
I think I am going nuts
At which stage? How long has it been going?

Lately, my mind and actions are not in sync.
I am happy but I look sad.
I am tired but I appear to be hyper.
I love you but I am mean to you.
I am calm but I seem to be frustrated. As this continues, I will sure be on the path to an ansty mode.

As for today, I was late but I pretended I was early!
ha.
*** on a note, my mentor purposely walked past and cracked a joke that made me rofl.

I realised that it will only be you and only you.

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Squeaks` @* 8:45 AM
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Wednesday, December 30, 2009


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Some reflection lately...
Only to realize tt I am sliding again or rather, have not walked back onto the right path since I left U. *u've been my strength*

Name title religion race culture don't matter. What matters most is the heart

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Squeaks` @* 10:44 AM
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Saturday, December 26, 2009


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Probably the only thing that will not change is Change. Things are constantly changing, be it environment, government, work etc blah blah.. and of course people. At least, it is very true for me.

It was my love, but now I find it boring.

Random thought...

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Squeaks` @* 6:56 PM
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Sunday, July 12, 2009


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Feeling the wings
Strangely, as I was watching Harry Potter yesterday night(Saturday), images of me lying on the hospital bed flashed by. Isn't it weird?
Ha. It so happened that Hogwarts students had been petrified and were sent to the hospital. That was why I started to imagine myself lying in the hospital ward.
The thought of it indeed scared me to a great extent. I paused and began to think about life.
Time seems to be moving faster than I wish lately. Sooner or later, this scene would happen and by then it will be too late for me to cherish my life more.
What's the point when everything will come to an end?
Relieving the burden and feeling lighter (not physically though) as if wings have been attached to my back.

Wont want to look like retard.

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Squeaks` @* 10:36 PM
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Saturday, March 7, 2009


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While showering.. thoughts

sleeping like a log.
Purple is..

It didn't occur to me that it would be more than 3 to 5. Indeed, it did.
Sharing my thoughts with V on our way back. Felt somehow better after he gave me some advice and personal experience. Discussed briefly with him just now as well. Ha. He just went on and on without giving me a chance to speak up. Reason? What for let me talk when only negative words would come out.
Against norms. The only MT.

Well well. What should I call that? Was taken aback but so? Ha. Not perfect

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Squeaks` @* 10:33 PM
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Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Tuesday, no work day
I dragged my feet to work on Monday morning. I felt slightly uncomfortable somewhere somehow. Yet, I still went as I didn't want to miss the afternoon meeting.
It was so unproductive. My whole morning was totally wasted, only managed to print a stupid report. Staring hard at the screen, but my mind was not on it. "Should I continue to tahan? or not?" "If I see a doc now, I will only get 1/2 day off.. argh.. why did I even come to work in the first place?! I have wasted my time travelling and the whole morning doing something which can be done in 15mins"
Went to see my company' doc, to save money of course plus it's very near my workplace. I only paid 5 bucks for it. Doctors are indeed overpaid, especially those who own their own clinics. They handle common sicknesses like flu, fever, cough.. etc. They don't even have to examine much to tell exactly what's wrong. This doc for example, didn't even lift his fingers much, except some effort on writing the prescription and mc for me that's about it. Talking about MC, he only gave me half day off! By the time I reached home, 3 quarters day would be gone. How to have sufficient rest and be healthy again by the next time. Of cos, I was mad. Coupled with BBP, I was super mad. I blew my top at the ... doc! opps. I got 1 .5 days Mc in the end.
And so, Tuesday was no work day. I would love to enjoy more off days, but the downside is to have work piled up. Work is never ending... It simply adds on.
I shall leave my worries to tomorrow. I can already foresee lotsa work waiting for me to settle. Work aside for now till tomorrow 8am!
I had so much sleep today. Flu medicine usually cause drowsiness, doesn't it. In between, I would be waken up by nightmares, hunger, discomfort from my burning body and the noise from the renovation. Patients tend to forgo meals but not for me. I ate more. Hm. It must be due to BBP.
Whenever I feel down, weak, in short, at my lowest, I would desire to have someone by my side to care for me. It happened. Passive indeed but wasn't rejection.
To prevent myself from sleeping again, I down a cup of coffee. It worked. Did a bit of skipping, but stopped after I felt nauseous. Needa do some exercise after eating so much these past few days. Then I decided to paint my nails. My friend recommended me OPI nail polish and she was so nice to help me purchase it online. She did everything for me, frm choosing of the colours, enquirying the spree owner, paying on my behalf and making of the purchase. Many many thanks and the nail polish is amazing! So easy to apply and the colour spreads evenly.


Actually, before I applied the nail color, I applied Sally Hansen nail growth miracle. Picture not available. Using it as a base coat, it protects and strengthen nails growth, definitely a savior to weak nails.
After applying Sally Hansen nail growth miracle and OPI nail polish, we must not forget to apply the top coat for lasting look. Time is precious, isn't it. Now, with Sally Hansen Dry Kwik, drying is done within a minute! Of cos, to play safe, I usually wait around 5 mins. Tried and tested.
Last but not least, use Sally Hansen NO MOre Mistakes manicure clean-up pen to erase excess nail colour at the side. It removes smudges and smears so instantly, no more using of cotton buds to clean up the mess.
=)

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Squeaks` @* 10:17 PM
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Monday, February 16, 2009


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There are always so much thoughts running through my mind during shower, especially in hall.
However, I tend to leave them in la la land when I get back to the room. This time round, the same happened. I forgot again.

Hmm.. *Have to restart engine.. Gear 1 of thinking process..

Never mind. I shall just blog whatever that comes to my mind now. Oh Twilight! Into the 3rd sequel of the Bloodsucker & human Bella love story, not that the story is draggy, but I am beginning to dislike the main female character. In the 1st 2 books, edward and bella are seriously in love with each other, despite of their differences. How can someone like his own pet? or even food? Well, human and food combination is the correct analogy. Nevertheless, ignoring all struggles and obstacles, they promised eternal love to each other. How romantic can it be? A lot of fluffy lovely dovely phrases were heavily used in their parts. Now comes the horrifying plot in the 3rd sequel whereby Bella wanted the best of 2 worlds, Bloodsucker and Dog. Bella, though she already had Edward, the cool marble Vampire, wanted Jake by her side as well. Bloodsucker and Dog can never live together, swore enemies from many generations ago. She loved both of them, one as lover another as best friend whom she couldn't bear to leave or see him walk away.

Someone asked me this question some time back.. How come one love 2 persons at the same time? I believed, if I didn't remember wrongly, my reply was swift and quick "why not?". Exact words have been forgotten.

I would definitely want to take back my words and say "not possible". The book brought light to my realization.. Learning to cherish every single things that he does.

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Squeaks` @* 11:59 PM
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About

This is not a teenage girl's blog
My age has become a secret
so is everything else

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Mickey & Minnie
My Melody
LV!!!
PINK! RED! PURPLE!



When you are bored...




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