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Irritated
Everything is just screwed up
Got up from the wrong side of bed
Confused. Dont know what I want
Problems. Endless problems.
Wanna get away
Pissed off
Quantity doesnt mean quality
I dont have to show u my ability by slogging long hrs.
It's dumb
I do what I am supposed to do and I finish them within the given time frame
It's up to you to believe
My conscience is clear
See things beyond your sight
Think beyond your limits
Once again, quantity doesnt mean quality
Long hrs in office simply means inefficiency. More time to finish what is supposed to be done. Waste of resources. Seriously
Turns me off
Trying too hard to impress others
Pushing jobs to others
"What have you done?"
pretend pretend pretend
-Ruth-Labels: Cheer, Everything, Family, Friends, God, HW, Life, Mr E, Work
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Monday, July 2, 2007
Disappointed once again.. nothing i do mattersLabels: HW
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Saturday, June 23, 2007
Beautiful Past 2
Mid autumn celebration
MSN
The last thing i gave u
Pirate !!
Free Hit CounterLabels: HW
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Beautiful Past 1
ENd of my 1st paper..
Mid autumn celebration.. we were still acquintances
6th Monthniversary
night b4 my last paper..... he made soba..
Gone!! my long hair
Good bye sweet old memories.. I will be deleting them.. Everyone of them..
Free Hit CounterLabels: HW
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Wednesday, June 6, 2007
A nEw BeGinNing
Tks to all my friends who have been there for me when I'm at my lowest. I'm feeling much better. However, the "FRAGILE" tag is still on. Hehe.
Special tks to Mr A for his invaluable encouragement and advices. No matter how times I whine, cry, he will always listens and never fails to provide support. He never complains or grumbles despite me repeating the same topics again and again.
Lastly, to God, tks for restoring my life once again. You made me realised that life is much more precious than I ever thought it to be. I need to look at life from a different angle. Grow and recover. Moving on. but nt giving it up
-Ruth-Labels: HW
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Kinda lost. simply dont feel like doing anithing. Just wanna hide in my own cupboard.
I love training. but smhow... dont feel like going animore...I love tuesday and thursday... but nt animore.
I've lost interest in everything.
-Ruth-Labels: HW
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Tuesday, June 5, 2007
4th June 07 is the dayLabels: HW
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Monday, June 4, 2007
Friday 1st June07- 6th MontH
Everything was simple on that day. We didnt go to the finest, posh restaurant. Neither did we exchange any pricey gifts. We just enjoyed each other company. To me, that's good enough, at least for now.Labels: HW
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Friday, June 1, 2007
Vesak Day- 31st May 07
Was out with Mr XX today. Prepared french toasts for him, thinking he must be very hungry after his training. To my disappointment, he had some bread before he came to meet me.
Couldnt make up our minds on what and where to eat. Hawker food? Macs (tempted by an ad I saw at the bus stop)? Hans? In the end, we settled for hawker food. Hokkien mee for me and luo mee (my han yu pin yin is pretty lousy. Most probably, I've spelled it wrongly) for him. The stall auntie who serviced him looks like Malay but spoke mandarin to him.. hmm. so Malay or Chinese? dunnoe. haha
Our or rather my initial plan was to chill at some coffee house not shop k cos I wanna do some studying for my astro exam. All packed!! So we ended up buying smoothies from this fruit juice shop "BoOSt". This was our second time patronising the shop. It claims to be low fat, healthy.. Gers shd go for it.. You wont feel guilty even if u gulp down the whole big cup.
I turned in kinda early tt night. Slight headache. Lately in the nite, something funny took place. Mr XX called. I was still in a state of unconciousness when I picked up the call. I kept telling him I've lost my hp. "Then what are u using now?" he asked. "I took out my SIM card and before I know it the hp is gone. I am using another phone now." I replied. hahaa.. the conversation went on. BUT, all these aint true. These were what I dreamt b4 the call came in. I mistook my dream as reality. Onli to realise it this morning that I was sprouting nonsense last night. Haha.
-Ruth-Labels: HW
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Wednesday, May 30, 2007
"I didn't know I was looking for love until I found you."Labels: HW
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Patience
"Patience is a virtue" I believe many have heard of this phrase. I must admit I am one person with little patience. I simply hate waiting for bus, train, friends, lesson to start, food..etc.. Maybe that's why I am never early. I dun wanna wait (oh no... my friends are going to kill).
"I want it now means now"--> this has been my way of life. But, lately, I realised things dont always work in this manner.
Recently, there's smthing I really desire to have. No matter how hard I pursue that "thing", I still failed to capture it. Disheartened and demoralised as I may be, I must be patience and press on. As long as I continue to put in effort, I believe God will answer my prayer.
When you finally attain the thing you've been yearning for, never forget to cherish it.
-Ruth-Labels: HW
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Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Thoughts
"If you love that person, you would want him to be happy" That's the reason why I've let go. It was a painful decision but i really do not want to exert pressure on him animore.
No calls, no sms. Nothing. Each time I think abt it, no tears flow down my cheeks, but my heart is bleeding. The pain is agonizing and I wonder how long I can endure it.
M I still pinning for hopes that he might call me? or sms me? No No.. I shdnt be doing so.
I may have let go but yet to set myself free.
-Ruth-Labels: HW
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Monday, May 28, 2007
You were everything that i wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be but we lost it
When you left, I lost a part of me
A sudden awareness of something hollow and empty abt my life
I am afraid to walk this road alone
Yet, I know I have to....
I guess both have tried
We loved each other
But, happy ending doesnt always come
When can this unbearable awkward silence be broken?
I dont know
I've got no answer..
Leaving everything to God nw
Lord, I submit my life back to You
I admit I am weak
Coming back to You
Good bye Ruth
(fighting to hold back my tears)Labels: HW
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Thursday, May 24, 2007
Nothing seems to be right for me.
leave me alone
-_- RuthLabels: HW
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Monday, May 21, 2007
"Men are from Mars, women are from Venus" how true is this? From my perspective, it is true to a certain extent.
Been going thru countless ups and downs in my r/s. Was it due to communication breakdown? Different in thinking and expectations? Maybe we dont understand each other enough or we just cannot compromise.
One of the latest trend/topic in Aces is POL. It stands for Power Of Love. Another new couple has "popped up" recently. Seeing these lovely dovey couples, the irrational nonsensical side of me started to affect my inner thoughts. I became dissatisfied with my own r/s. The main problem with me is that I like to compare.. I need to rectify this. Seriously.I need to. I will never be satisfied or contented with the things I have if I continue to compare. Instead, I should be thankful and grateful to God for the things he blessed me with.
Same goes for relationship, contentment will never come if there's always comparison. Cant expect all guys to be the same. Different ppl have different thinking, priority etc. Theortically, I know all these. However, I failed the practical component.
Things had been fine for the whole of last week until Sat. We quarrelled again. Yes. AGain. Shant go too much into the details. The quarrel was along the line that not enough time was spent together. Once again, I was comparing ours to other r/s(s) I know of. Reflecting on this issue, I realised I was pretty unreasonable. He also has his own stuff to attend to, own priorities, etc. Moreover, we are in different ccas. I cant expect him to be free all the time and go according to my schedule. Why didnt I think twice or thrice b4 throwing my tantrum? Ruth.. grow up.
Couples learn more abt each other thru squabbling. However, excessive ones will just cause tension between the couple. "A crack on the mirror will be there forever" The more you aggravate it, the bigger the crack. It might even reach a pt whereby the mirror will just split into 2.
Despite having training for 3 times on weekdays, I will still watch the 9pm show on channel 8 every Tues and Thurs. The show displays the reality of r/s. Something I find it very true from the show: Women always threaten to breakup but they dont mean it. However, when men suggest it, they really it. And yes, they really mean it.Labels: HW
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